So bird flu is almost upon us. I was wondering ... what happens if in a chicken farm, a chicken or a turkey accidentally sneezes? The others must freeze, shivers down their yummy breasts, before starting to jump up and down in panic. What happens if the same turkey sneezes more afterwards? It's easy to imagine ...

Well, at least in Romania we're somehow safe (just that I don't live in Romania). While we do eat chicken, the national meat must be no doubt pork. Allegedly there's a historical explanation for that.
Romania was raided by the turks back in history. So what?! Well, turks are muslim and they're forbidden from eating pork. So everytime they raided us, they use to take everything except the pigs. It's not as tragic as natural selection because people soon realised that and started to rear pigs instead of chickens. You can almost imagine the frustration that must have caused in the invading turks.

There's also the habit of killing the pigs for Christmas. Well, what did you think? They're not reared for their linguistic skills!
This annual slaughter is so clearly expressed in the following joke:

The pig talks to the donkey.
- Donkey, you're so dirty. And weak. Look at you, you're abused every day. Look how many stuff they make you carry! You must have such a shitty life...
The donkey, visibly irritated, turns to the pig:
- Is it my impression or you're not the last year's pig?!

Ok ... enough of that. Back to serious stuff. Bird flu. So far it seems to have affected swans. Swans (or some swans) are said to be mute and only sing before they die (thus the expression "a swan's song"). But with the flu, do you think they sing?
I would imagine they have stuffy nose and cough while swearing at the bloody winter flu. But everyone usually imagine they will make it when they have a flu.
They have to know for sure that they're gonna die in order to sing. What if they sing and then they recover from the flu?! What would everyone say? There would be outrage for sure.
So, using this logic ... they must postpone singing until the last minute when they're very sure they die.
It begs the question ... what happens if you slaughter them? They have to realise ... shit, it's a knife. Oh my god, it's coming for my neck! ... I'm fucked ... La-La-La...

I'll stop it here, it's silly already!