why me?

Well, today at the gym something weird and out of ordinary happened. Something that wakes you up from the lonely world of mentally counting your countless sit-ups, press-ups and whatever other "ups" you might be up to.

Someone talked to me.

It was strange as this guy came next to my walking machine (how's that called by the way?!) and I said ... oh no ... not right next to me, go away, give me some space. Of course, I was quiet, maybe gasping with effort but you're suppose to do these things in a gym. I also played by the rules and tried to avoid eye contact, not to be rude. Ahem! And the guy said "Hi"! Double Ahem with vodka and ice! An involuntary reaction started in my brain left hemisphere and before I could think properly about it, I heard myself saying "Hiya" and then looked away focusing on my sheer physical effort.

"Must be gay", I said to myself and then instantly I felt sorry for myself. What happened to me? I didn't use to be like that. It's this country that transformed me from a normal social being into a judgemental monster. Memories came to me in flashes, like that one time in Cluj when I was a student and I was coming back on the famous Piezisa (a street next to our student dorm) and a guy in a car passing by reached out and try to slap my arse, narrowly missing it. I knew that moment and ever since how it must be like to feel like a piece of meat :-)
And then the flash was gone and another one came and went, when I was in Soho and there was a gay festival, and this guy bumped into me and like everyone bumping into people, he said sorry. But he also touched my hand from the elbow down to the wrist, a gentle touch like "how about me and you babe?", his eyes staring into mine like looking for a confirmation or a disapointing blink of the eye. I laughed, I thought it was funny.

And then when I was in the changing rooms, I couldn't miss noticing he lingered a glimpse onto my naked body as I was showering. Geez luiz, you don't do things like these, it's like a secret allegiance between males ... you can't do that. The showers are the only place where eye contact is preferable, whatever you do, keep your eyes up. Otherwise you go in the history as being gay. I know, it's all macho shit, used to protect us from accepting our latent homosexuality. Or so psychoanalysts would say.

But the best was still to come. As I was dressing up, ready to flee the scene, he came to me and said something. At first my ears weren't hearing a word he was saying, too stunned to understand. Is he speaking to me again? He was. And the question was a simple one, although I didn't have the answer well prepared in advance and he had the upper hand by cornering me like that and using my surprise to his advantage. "How long have you been working out for?" It was a simple question, but my brain was still working on the probabilities of him being gay, so my mouth started mumbling "Couple of months, 4 months". He looked undeterred in his determination to go ahead with his plan and he said "Coz you have a great body".

Now this was too much ... There's one thing to say Hi, or even a furtive glance to my most hidden body parts. I can ignore that, I have a strong defensive mechanism. But "you have a great body"? I was about to frown and reply sarcastically "Beauty is inside mate" when it struck me. It was a compliment. It was just a compliment. I caught myself muttering "Cheers"! Cheers? Cheers? It's like you're a piece of furniture that looks good and you thrive on every compliment as it means you have higher chances of actually getting sold. Hmm ... maybe it's like that then!

He had the decency to leave it there and I hurried home a bit amused about the whole story.

So, we reached the disclaimer now. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with gay people, I'm a supporter of free choice, far from a homophobe, myself. But I'm not gay and not used to be chatted up. Coz you gotta admit it, "Hey, you've got a great body ... how long have you been working out?" ... well, that's quite cheesy.

Enough for now, I'm going to read for a while and hit the sack! Sigh, I can't believe it's still monday!